“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere.” ~1 Corinthians 13:3 (The Message Bible)

Take a moment to reflect upon your life. Look at your relationships with your parents, your siblings, your children, and your friends. Many have good memories of your childhood, where love was not only a spoken word, but was a way of life. Others seldom remember hearing the words “I love you”, but always knew you were loved. Some have never heard the words “I love you” or ever felt true love.

My husband, David, and I determined early in our marriage that we wanted to have great communication with each other and our children. We wanted to have a spirit of peace and unity in our home that would radiate with love, respect, consideration, obedience, submission, and trust.

Throughout the years, we’ve been diligent to keep that a priority in our marriage, our home, and our relationship with our children. We don’t argue or bicker with one another, nor do we allow our children to. Instead, we strive to be unselfish, undemanding, and uncontrolling and have learned to wait until the “right moment” to discuss any disagreements.

As I was studying 1 Corinthians 13, in preparation for some parenting classes I was teaching, the Lord began to speak to my heart and bring new revelation for this passage of Scripture. I want to share that revelation with you. So think for a moment and then answer these questions: What is true, unconditional, godly love? And how do I show godly love to others, especially my children?

LOVE….

• Responds instead of reacts

• Actively does good

• Is not possessive or competitive

• Is humble – not arrogant, harsh, or rude

• Is unselfish

• Is not irritable, touchy, or hostile but is graceful under pressure

• Does not keep an account of wrong-doings or mistakes

• Does not find joy in the disappointments of others

• Does not speak evil words over or about others

• Enjoys operating in truth

• Listens

It’s important to SAY “I love you”! It’s even more important to SHOW “I love you”!

No matter what our past looks like, each one of us has the same choice: “Will I be a victim or a victor?” If we choose to be victors, we can create healthy relationships with others and shape our children’s lives for God’s glory.

So let me encourage you today: If you’re not walking in victory in your life and relationships – and especially your relationship with your children -, choose right now to begin making changes. It won’t happen instantaneously. But daily choices with “right thinking” will take you to places and build relationships in ways you never thought were possible!