Brigette Wagner Ministries

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   “Make yourselves at home in my love.  If you keep my commands, you’ll remain intimately at home in my love…..I’ve told you these things that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature.”  ~ John 15: 9-10  (The Message Bible)

When I first met my husband, David, I fell quickly and deeply in love with him.  To see his face or hear his voice made my heart “flutter and smile”.  I loved being with him.  I would talk (something I’m very good at); and he would listen (something he’s very good at).  We became the closest of friends and soul-mates.

After 15 years of marriage, he still makes my heart “flutter and smile”.  I still love being with him, talking with him, or sometimes just snuggling in his arms – a place that gives me much peace and safety.  He is still my closest friend and deepest soul-mate.

That’s exactly how God wants us to feel toward Him!  He wants us to be intimately in love with Him, desiring to be with Him, talk with Him, and sometimes just snuggle closely in His arms as He gives us peace and rest.

Just as my husband brings joy to my heart, God wants us to find joy in His presence!  He wants His joy to become our joy!  He wants us to be so filled with His joy and peace that it spills over from our lives into the lives of other people.

Sometimes,  we become so focused on ourselves and our own circumstances or desires that we fail to truly focus on our relationship with our Lord.  We were created for close, intimate fellowship with Him.  He loves us more than we will ever be able to comprehend.  He is a jealous God who wants our attention and affection.

Let me encourage you today:  Become intimate with God.  Allow yourself to focus on Him and His will for your life.  When you get the focus off of yourself and your own circumstances and focus solely on Him, you’ll find your heart filled with joy, peace, and thankfulness!

  “It is impossible that no offenses should come.”  ~Luke 17:1

I’ll never forget the place and the moment where I knew that for the first time in my life I had hatred in my heart towards another person.  Yes, I am sad to admit that my heart was blackened by feelings of betrayal and hatred – not by someone I deemed an enemy but instead by someone I considered a friend….someone whom I had trusted, spent time with, confided in, and cared about.

It was several years ago.  I had been through a tremendous battle with depression (a result of “church stuff” where I had been the Worship Leader).  Coming out of that experience left me feeling isolated and vulnerable.  I found myself “hooking back in” with past relationships and began letting my guard down little by little.

Without warning, a series of events took place and one particular person not only broke my trust, but did some things that made my children feel left out and rejected.  That was the straw that broke this camel’s back! 

I still can’t believe it and am ashamed to admit it even as I write this;  but I remember saying, “God, I hate her!”   Immediately, I felt dirty.  I cried out to God for help, struggling to overcome.   It seemed like I would take “two steps forward and three steps backward”.  Everytime I thought I had overcome those feelings, something else would happen that catapulted me right back to the same place.

Then I heard the voice of God begin to talk to me.  He told me to bless her, not only in my prayers but in my actions.  I sent cards and gave gifts.  Through my obedience,God gave me grace and helped me give grace, cleansing my heart of all hurt and hatred.

Since that time, I have tried very hard to refuse to take ownership of offenses.  When offenses come my way, I immediately say outloud, “Lord, I refuse to take ownership of this offense.  This matter is not between them and me.  It’s between them and You!” We’re going to be offended, at times.  That’s life!  It’s how we deal with that offense that determines our “heart condition”. 

If we harbor an offense, it will become bitterness.  Bitterness becomes anger.  Anger becomes hatred.  Hatred destroys not only the relationship with the person who knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally offended us, but it also destroys our relationship with God. 

As John Bevere writes in his book “The Bait of Satan”, “Only those you care about can hurt you.  You expect more from them – after all, you’ve given more of yourself to them.”  David wrote in Psalm 55:12-14, “This isn’t the neighborhood bully mocking me – I could take that.  This isn’t a foreign devil spitting invective – I could tune that out.  It’s you!  We grew up together!  You!  My best friend….”  (The Message Bible)

My friend, Tracy, and I have had a beautiful friendship for 17 years.  Do you want to know why?  Here’s the big revelation………WE LOVE EACH OTHER ENOUGH TO OVERLOOK OUR SHORTCOMINGS, UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S HEART, AND TALK THROUGH (with a right spirit) ANY AWKWARD SITUATIONS! 

God has also blessed me with a wonderful friend and business partner, Joanna.  Guess what…..working together in business gives us plenty of opportunity to disagree and/or offend one another.  But instead of taking ownership of offenses, WE CHOOSE TO OVERLOOK OUR SHORTCOMINGS, UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S HEART, AND TALK THROUGH  (with a right spirit) ANY AWKWARD SITUATIONS!

We assume the best from each other – Not the worst.  By doing so, our relationship is kept intact and our friendship continues to grow and be a blessing!

WOW!  Why is something so simple, so difficult to achieve?  Because we act and react according to our emotions.  Our carnal flesh takes over and the Spirit of God within us takes a back seat.  We approach each other with a defensive, offended spirit and fail to operate in love and grace.

Have mercy on us, Lord!  There is nor will ever be anyone more betrayed and more hated than Christ.  Yet, HE CHOOSE TO DIE for the very people who betrayed him – you and me.  Our faces were in the crowd that day! 

If we want to be more like Christ and fulfill our destiny, it’s time to grow up!  Get over it!  And get focused on the Kingdom of God instead of the “kingdom of ourselves”.

I’m certain that everyone of you has been offended or hurt by someone else.  I’m also certain that (like me) everyone of you has offended or hurt someone else.  Let me encourage you today:  Check your heart.  If you are holding on to offenses, begin to cry out to God and bless those who’ve offended you.  For those whom you’ve offended, be willing to ask for forgiveness and then forgive yourself!  God loves you!  He wants you to be whole and healed!

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   “Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ.  The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing….Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church – a love marked by giving, not getting….”  ~Eph. 5:23-25 (The Message Bible)

Dave and I celebrate our 15th wedding anniversary this week.   When people ask us how long we’ve been married, we reply, “14 1/2 wonderful years….the other 6 months was hell on earth!”

Before we got married, one of my college professors called me into his office and said, “Brigette, I don’t think you should marry David.   You’re too different, it’ll never work” .  After getting married, we constantly had people point out our differences and  found ourselves being pulled into that type of thinking.

During our first year of marriage, we had 6 months of “honeymoon bliss” and 6 months of “marital hell”.  We both have very strong personalities and are, in fact, very different.  But those differences have – over time – been the exact things that cause our marriage to run like a fine-tuned  engine.  You see, we finally realized (after our first few years of marriage) that my weaknesses are his strengths and his weaknesses are my strengths!  When you change your way of thinking, your whole perspective changes.  This one revelation completely changed our marriage! 

We learned to work together instead of against each other!

Because we completely trust each other, there’s no manipulation, no domination, no jealousy, and no fear of allowing each other to be who God created us to be.  My husband is my strength, my “stabilizer”, my comfort, my protector, and my very best friend.  Just the sound of his voice brings peace to my spirit and joy to my heart.  He is the only man I have ever trusted; and when I am afraid or feeling discouraged, I can always count on him to wrap his arms around me and assure me that everything will be alright.

What’s amazing is the more time I spend with God and the closer I get to Him, the more thankful I am for my husband and the more I love him!  It’s like that because God designed it to be like that.   When we are overflowing with God’s love, it spills out into other people’s lives.  What better place to start than with our own family!

I choose everyday to serve Dave – not out of obligation or because he demands it.  I serve him because it’s my pleasure to treat him like “the king of our palace”.   That’s right!  He’s the king of our home.  You know what that makes me???  You got it…the queen.  That means, I follow his lead.  I submit to his authority.  By doing so, I can rest not only in the protection of my husband, but also in the protection of the Almighty God because our house is in Biblical order.

I can honestly say today that I am blessed and highly favored of God!  He has blessed me with a wonderful husband and two adorable children who love God and obey their parents.

If you’re struggling or “bored” with your marriage, let me encourage you today:  Seek God’s Word and be open to His leading.  Be willing to do what He says for you to do.  Lay  down your “guard” and “put on” a loving, giving spirit.  You might be surprised by the results!