Brigette Wagner Ministries

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 “For the Word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword….and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.”   ~Hebrews 4:12 (NKJV)

A few weeks ago, my kids and I were driving down a country road, going to our Spanish & Sign Language Co-Op, when I noticed a huge bird flying above us.  With excitement, I urged the girls to look up at this “beautiful bird”, riding on the wind. 

I slowed the car to a crawl as we watched that bird for several minutes before reaching the road that led to the co-op.  As I made the turn into the sub-division, this huge bird landed almost in front of my car.  To my surprise, what I thought was a beautiful, elegant eagle or hawk was actually an ugly vulture,  preying on ”road kill“.

I thought, ”Have mercy….isn’t that like life itself?”  So many times, we see things from a distance and desire to be a part of what we “think” we see.  We watch carefully- longing to be included, longing for relationships, longing  to get close to that which we think is so beautiful.  Then,  when we get close enough to see what it’s really all about, we’re astounded by how ugly and undesirable it really is.

Every few months, I have to re-prioritize my life, my calendar, my desires, and my relationships.  Each time, I find myself saying to the Lord, “If it’s not of you, take “it” out of my life and take the desire for “it” out of my heart.”  Sometimes, it’s easy to give up those things that I “thought” were so beautiful.  At other times, even though it’s ugliness is “staring me in the face”, I grieve over letting it go.

Everything we desire must be filtered through the Word of God!  Some questions I have learned to ask are:  Does it give glory to God or take glory away from God?  Does it line up with His Word or prompt disobedience?  Does it bring encouragement or discouragement?  Does it give energy or bring forth exhaustion?  Is it really important or seemingly important?

One thing is certain:  

An eagle can never be a vulture. Likewise, a vulture can never be an eagle! 

Maybe you’ve been struggling with where you fit in.  You’ve been “spinning your wheels”, trying to take what YOU THINK is something beautiful and FORCE IT to be something it’s not.  Step back from your situation and filter it through the Word.  You will find that you discern things differently when you “strain them” through the Word of God!

    “A friend loves at all times….”  -Proverbs 17:17

Friend:  companion; a person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.   (American Heritage Dictionary)

One of the most difficult things women deal with on a daily basis is friendship.  It sounds so simple; yet when you get beyond the surface, you find an intricate web of giving, taking, pushing, pulling, encouragement, discouragement, confidence and insecurity.

I personally believe that there are two kinds of people:  Givers & Takers.

The givers are the ones who reach out and try to create/maintain friendships.  They are the ones who always do all the calling, all the inviting, all the encouraging, etc.  They reach out over and over again, tiredlessly trying to “make it work”.  Many times, they are taken advantage of and left feeling drained and unappreciated.  In conflict, the givers are the ones who will always take the blame and ask for forgiveness, even when they’ve done nothing wrong.

The takers, on the other hand, seldom call, seldom invite, seldom encourage, etc.  They are seemingly unaware that they are “takers” and simply do not see that they are “self-absorbed”.  They are often quick to accuse and slow to ask for forgiveness.  They usually cannot understand why “the giver” hasn’t called or sent some form of encouragement as quickly as they think is needed.  And they often “walk away” from relationships if ”their needs” aren’t being met in the manner which they feel is best for them. 

Going deeper, I have found that many women are unable to experience true friendship because of their own insecurities, fears, and lack of self-confidence.  They want so badly to trust, to laugh, to cry, and to share their “life situations” with a friend; but past hurts and poor self-image builds walls that simply cannot be penetrated.  They begin comparing themselves with other women and feel that they never “measure up”, thus crippling their relationships and ability to experience true friendship.

This brings me to the million dollar question:  What kind of friend are you?  Do you find yourself always giving or always taking?  Do you reach out to others or do you wait for someone else to reach out to you?  Are you willing to lay down your own agenda in order to develop relationships or do you expect others to make all the changes in order to be your friend?

Self reflection is a good thing!  Let me encourage you today:  Take an honest look at yourself.  If you don’t like what you see, take it to the Lord and begin to deliberately make choices that bless others first.  Trust me, as you bless others, you will be blessed as well!

     “For I have not given you a spirit of fear but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” NKJV

This past week, one of our local weather forecasters committed suicide.  As I listened to the report, I was grieved for his family, his friends, but even more for him.  He was one of the best weather forecasters in our area.  He was very whitty and was always “joking around”, playing pranks on the other cast members.

As I watched his co-workers struggle through the announcement of his unnecessary death (at 39 years of age), I couldn’t help but think of how tragic this event was and how satan had robbed him and his family.  I don’t know why he chose to end his life; but I do know that if he had reached out for help, he would still be alive. 

Thinking about his situation also made me reflect upon a time in my own life when depression attacked me.  I’ve always been a very out-going person.  I love to laugh, tease, and simply have fun!  But several years ago, the enemy launched an attack against me through a character assassination.  I found myself living “in a bubble”, going through the motions of my life as normal, while hiding what was really going on in my mind and emotions.

I had become a “master” at hiding my tears.  No one around me knew the silent hell that I was going through, not even my precious husband.  The enemy planted thoughts in my mind that I never thought possible.  I mean, I was strong!  I helped other people with these issues, I didn’t struggle with these issues myself….or so I thought! 

It was a long, difficult battle.  I had to constantly stand on Scripture and fight against the enemy. I know without a doubt that had I not been so firmly grounded in God’s Word, I would have made choices that would have destroyed my family and taken my life!

Thank God for His Word!  Thank God for His promises!  Thank God for His help in my time of trouble!

If you’ve been struggling with fear, anxiety, or depression, let me say boldly to you today:  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  There is no shame in asking for help.  Get into God’s Word, seek Christian counseling, fight the enemy with every fiber of your being, break the chains of bondage off of your life (every moment of every day), and find a prayer partner who will “stand in the gap” for you and with you!

 “The tiny rutter steers the whole ship…”

Have you ever known that you were right about something beyond a shadow of a doubt only to find out later that you were wrong? Have you acted upon your assumption in such a way that you were too embarrassed to go back and admit your error once the truth was revealed?

In my younger years, I was known for being “hot-tempered” and “fiesty”.  If someone looked at me the wrong way – no matter how large or small the person was – I was “in their face”.  I believed that confrontation was “a good thing”.  HOWEVER, over the years, the Lord has tamed me and softened me by allowing me to totally embarrass myself with my quick reactions.

I remember one time (years ago) when I was in the grocery store line.  The lady at the checkout was SO SLOW; and I was SO IMPATIENT!  The longer I waited for her to check out the people in front of me, the more frustrated I became.  Now you have to understand, I do everything in a hurry!  I’m like Mary and Martha…all rolled into one.  My heart’s desire it to spend time with the Lord, basking in His presence.  While at the same time, I’m one of the busiest people I’ve ever met.  Sitting still or waiting is a huge challenge for me!

Anyway,  by the time I got up to the register, steam was “rolling out of ears”.  It was obvious that I wasn’t happy with the whole situation.  About the time I started to open my mouth to say something “not so nice”, I looked down and realized that I was wearing a T-shirt that had “JESUS” in large, bold letters across the front of it.  Immediately, I was convicted by the Holy Spirit!  I settled myself down, paid for my groceries, and held back the tears of my shame until I could get to my car.

That day taught me a lesson and moved me to begin praying, “Lord, I don’t usually struggle with my actions;  but my REACTIONS bring shame to Your name.  Help me learn to RESPOND instead of REACT.”

I would like to tell you that God totally delivered me of my reactions and “my mouth”.  However, honesty shall prevail…….I have to be on “high alert” every day in every situation to be certain that I don’t bring shame to my Lord’s name by over-reacting to different stresses that arise on a daily basis.  Thankfully, most of the time I bring glory to God’s name with my responses.  Sometimes, though, I still fail.  When I do, I get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Then, I repent and apologize – not only to God but to whomever was in the path of my reaction.

Ephesians 4:1-3 says this:  “I, therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech [encourage] you to walk worthy of the calling with which you were called, with all lowliness and gentleness, with longsuffering, bearing with one another in love, endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.”

Maybe you sometimes struggle with your reactions.  Maybe you’ve felt the shame and the conviction of being a poor example of the love and patience of Christ.  If you’ve been where I’ve been, let me encourage you:  Learn to stay on “high alert” in your area of struggle.  Learn to repent quickly and humble yourself to ask forgiveness – not only from God but from those whom you’ve offended.